The Huge Bumper Stickers and One-Liners List
The Huge Bumper Stickers and One-Liners List
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!sgub evah t'nseod CP sihT ?sgub naem ayaddahW
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
"Not a morning person" doesn't even begin to cover it.
(001) Logic Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (V)alium?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
(A)bort, (R)etry, (S)elf-destruct?
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza.
<-------- The information went data way --------
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bad day at Disneyland is still better than a good day at work!
A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.
A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
A good pun is its own reword.
A mind is a terrible thing not to mess with.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
A pessimist is never disappointed.
A single fact can ruin a good argument.
AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Admiration - Recognizing another's resemblance to ourselves.
All generalizations are false.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Back OFF - I Have PMS and a Handgun in the Glovebox
Backup not found! A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?
Backups? We don't NEED no steenking backups.
Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Bad command or file name. Go stand in the corner.
Bad spellers of the world untie!
BAD Cop! No Donut!
Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
Baroque (adj.): When you are out of Monet.
Be bold in what you stand for; be careful in what you fall for.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Be realistic: expect a miracle
Beam me up Scotty, this planet sucks!
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon!
Beatings will continue until morale improves.
Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass!
Being Politically Correct means Always Having to Say You're Sorry.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Beware of dragons, for we are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Biology grows on you.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes really suck...
Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.
Born again pagan.
Born free... taxed to death.
Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
Brain dysfunction detected...
Brain over - Insert coin
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass
But how many lightbulbs does it take to change a person?
But I already have a life - I just don't use it!
By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Capt'n! The spellcheckerrr kinna take much morrre of this abuse!
Caution: I break for imaginary objects
Caution: this car frequently driven sideways.
Caution: This car frequently airborne.
CAUTION: Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore.
CAUTION: I drive like you do.
Check your emotions at the door, employee #YX203461!!!
Chess players mate better.
Childhood: That period when nightmares occur only during sleep.
Circular definition: see definition, circular.
Come closer, I need the money.
COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers can never replace human stupidity
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Couldn't afford to fix my brakes, so I made my horn louder.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Cruel, nasty, neurotic, paranoid, antisocial, but basically happy
Cynics are just more observant of reality.
Dark is faster than light, otherwise you would see it.
Dear God... Protect me from your followers.
Death is hereditary.
Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting what to have for lunch.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Disgruntled Employee of the Month
DIVORCE.BAT found....deleting C:\MARRIAGE\SPOUSE.
Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
Do you think you could drive better if you stuck that phone UP YOUR ASS?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Dog and wife missing. Reward for Dog.
Dogs believe they are humans. Cats believe they are God.
Dogs look up to you; cats look down at you; only a pig looks at you as an equal.
Doing little things well is a step toward doing big things better.
Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
Don't drive faster than your angel can fly
Don't follow me or you'll end up at my place...
Don't hate yourself in the morning. Sleep until noon.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
.
Don't you just hate rhetorical questions?
DON'T STEAL! - The government hates competition
Drive safely: heaven's full
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. - Carl Zwanzig
Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders has been discontinued.
Due to circumstances beyond our control, we regret to inform you that circumstances are beyond our control.
Dyslexic Agnostics don't believe in DOG.
Dyslexics are teople poo
Dyslexics of the World: 'Untie!'
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
EARTH FIRST! - Then we log the other planets!!
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
Eat Lamb. 50,000 Coyotes can't be wrong
Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.
EAT MOOSE, 500'000 wolves can't be wrong.
Education is the progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Error 13: Illegal brain function. Process terminated.
Error: An unspecified error has occurred. Please correct the error to continue.
Error: keyboard locked - try anything you can think of.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
ERROR 406: file corrupt: config.earth --- reboot universe? (Y/N)
Ever hear of a gruntled postal worker?
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
Facts are stubborn things.
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Fatal system error detected. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
Fear is understandable, ignorance is unacceptable.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
FIGHT for the RIGHTS of bacteria! - it's the only culture some people have
Fleece on Earth Good wool to ewe
For A Small Town, This Place Has A Lot Of Assholes!
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Forget about World Peace... Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
From a chicken in every pot to a chicken smokin' pot
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
Go ahead, make my data!
Go practice safe sex. Fuck yourself
God doesn't believe in Atheists.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill God,
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
God, please save me from your followers.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
Got Mole problems? Call Avogadro: 6.02 x 10-23.
Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
Guests who kill talk show hosts-On the last Geraldo.
Guns don't kill people... but they make it real easy.
H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
Half of the people in the world are below average.
Hang up and drive idiot
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Hard Disk space: the final frontier!
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
Having a Smoking Section in a restaurant is a little like having a Peeing Section in a pool!
He who hesitates is probably right.
He who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Health is simply the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply.
Help! I can't reach the brakes on this piano!
Help! My Reality Check Bounced!
Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw...
hoket on foniks werked fur me
Honk if you love peace and quiet
Honk if you're an Asshole.
Honk if you've never seen a shotgun fired from a moving car.
Honk once, if you like Jesus moderately well!
Horn Broken....Watch for finger!
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Hours of tedious, backbreaking, demeaning labour. Isn't it great to be needed?
How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do we know 'Dyslexia' is spelled right?
Hows My Driving??? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT
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